Thoughts of My Daughter Jennie

We are all thinking about you today Jennie. All your family and dear friends. You are so loved. https://www.legacy.com/ca/obituaries/timescolonist/name/jennie-peddlesden-obituary?id=48455795

Jennie, 38 years ago you started your journey into the world. At this time on the 26th of February, you were already 16 days late. Later in the day, Grandma took me into the hospital and you were born at 2:15 a.m, the following day. Nine lbs., 13 oz., and 23 inches long, you were a bonnie baby, perfect in every way. The nurse was surprised you already had eyebrows. All your family was outside the delivery room door, and Grandma took you out to meet them: Papa, Auntie Susan and Uncle Kari, and Uncle Steven (Auntie Liana came along later in your life). I was so proud of you. And you had such a huge effect on your family. Putting myself back 38 years, I can still feel how much we were both loved. And I started my new, very special life with you. You packed a lot into your short 36 years of life Jennie, and brought 3 special people into this world. You loved and cared for them, and they loved you. Now the 4 of us have to continue our life without you. Those 3 people are very dear to me, an...

Jennie, I think of how your children are managing without you. I wish I knew.  I wish I was there to love them.

This morning is cold and crisp. Beautiful early morning sunshine. In my mind’s eye, I can see Jennie running down the hill and along the water, and she would turn and wave as she ran by. The last time I saw her run was on June 23, 2021 at 6:42 a.m. She ran by pushing Ivy in her run stroller, with Piper running out in front, her lead around Jennie’s waist. She was young, strong, capable. She was doing all she could, trying to be happy with her marriage and her life falling apart. She was my beautiful girl. I will carry her in my heart everyday of my life. 

I’m awake in the middle of the night. I remember how D had trouble sleeping and when he stayed over would come and and see me in the middle of the night. I would take him back downstairs and cuddle him. He was just a little guy then. Now he’s 13 and a half. Does he still have trouble sleeping? I wonder where Pippa is. I wanted to ask him when I saw him in June how his beloved cat was doing, but I didn’t get a chance. I worry something has happened to Pippa. I hope D knows wherever he is that I am here, loving him like always. There is always a place for him with me. His sisters too. 

Today I walked up behind our house to the park. I remember being there with Jennie and my grandchildren on a walk during covid. The kids loved to climb on the rocks and play around the area.  I think of the places I’ve been with Jennie and try to believe she was ever really here. It feels like a dream now. It’s hard to remember what it felt like to be happy. 

I’m thinking about my beautiful daughter Jennie Lynne Peddlesden. She died on August 10, 2021. I think about her everyday and miss her so much.  She loved being a mother to her 3 lovely children, D, A and I. I can’t imagine how hard it is for her children to be without their mum.  I love my grandchildren dearly, and think about them everyday, hoping they are doing okay